You're my 2020

I'm actually in the middle of preparing my order but my mind keep thinking about you and i had to stop for awhile and i really feel like venting here. It's not like i never talk to my friends about this but i tend to not say really anything and i will get them confuse and I myself confuse too my head it can suddenly go blank because i feel too much and i need time to actually calm down. It's funny Idk i guess i've passed to this situation when you live all you want to do is to impress people around you, care what people think, when actually in reality they don't even care. They're not the one that always around you, support you or anything. So why care and being hard on yourself so that people can see you doing good. Being extra nice to strangers when actually you should prioritise your loved ones. Like, how can you not be nice to the one that loves you? I know it's hard for you but this is not fair for me... Not fair. 

Thank you Halsey for the good song... BE KIND. Amazing how it speaks my mind. 

I'm done. Was hoping you are the one, my last and my future. But never mind. Things change, people change, words just cheap. Note that I'm not that perfect so not trying to be a winner here. Just venting and being bitter. And sad. Haha. I will try to slowly forget about this and just focus on what's around me. Work, family and good friends. You're my 2020. 2020 was not bad, not that good either. A year that makes me confuse but without it i will not know that life has prepared me quite different lesson one after another. It has been a journey. A hella one. 

Anyway Alhamdulillah reaching 2021 alive and still processing. Planning for something big this year I couldn't be grateful enough that i finally had my mind going on for new venture. Sometimes you just need to sit back and open your eyes and see that life offers so much opportunity and chance they are all might just laying around you. MasyaAllah! <3