Idk

Hello,
There is so much things in my head lately. 
I wish I could let it all out at once. But no, I can't just tell everything here. 
Ritually I usually do is ringing anyone who I can rely on and talk to them. Gratefully yeah I have a few of them. 

But this one. Hm 
Not everyone knows about how it impacts so much in my life. Maybe someone does but I have never been open about it, it has been a long time. If that someone really pays attention... That someone might know, because I can say I had talked about it a lot. 


-----no one cares anymore, I don't care anymore.


But again, today out of blue I dreamt about you. I've lost count of how many times you ever did appear in my dream but maybe this time its the fifth. You were so helpless that I helped to pick you up. It's weird because I kinda remember it thoroughly. I acted so honest and true. Maybe just because I was deeply care and now still. Guess I will always care for you. It's good to have this feeling though. 

As for today, I'm so frustrated of myself, what I really spare for people around me. 

--It's not easy anymore. 

I am not bothered.